Saturday, July 29, 2006 1:12 PM
Been quite a strange day for me. Taking care of my sick cousin Agatha has been my big priority nowadays because her nanny quit. Now she has no nanny to take care of her. Priscilla can't take care of her, even their own father is busy to take care of her. So who's left to take care of the little girl? Me.
I just realized that it's hard to take care of children especially when they're sick. I don't know if you think whether this realization is late or I should have realized that before, but I'm an only child. I never had any younger cousin to take care of because I've spent most of my childhood in Germany with my parents... and I guess I can say that they spoiled me. I guess now I could say that I've been such a conceited and selfish child.
I've got an LJ now:
unMidnightBut majority of the entries there may be for my friends only. If only blogger has the friends-only feature, maybe I'll stick more to this site instead of creating a new online journal.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006 9:31 AM
Mornings, ever since Sunday, have been very slow. Things have become routine around here: I wake up, I eat, I write, I communicate with Paul and auntie regarding the clients, I write more, I formulate new ideas, I design new templates and graphics, I spend afternoon tea with my uncle, I fetch my youngest cousin from her school, I take her to ballet, I wait for her, then we go home and I write some more until it's time for dinner and bedtime.
Taking her to ballet has been my extra job around here since sometimes, uncle can't attend to her.
Being surrounded by little girls in pink tutus and leotards give me a creepy feeling, especially since all of them seem to have this stoic expression on their faces. The ballet teacher is even creepier than the students: he's gay and he's always looking at me in a strange manner. It's uncomfortable, so sometimes I just wait in the car or I chat up one of the nannies waiting for their kids, because if he sees that I'm not socializing with anybody, he'll end up talking to me at the end of the lesson. When he asked for my name, I was having second thoughts of saying my real one, but my little cousin with the voice-of-truth had the guts to say "He's my cousin Tristan. Isn't he big!"
Ack! Darn you, Agatha!!!
Of course she meant that I am tall and muscular; she has always been amazed with my height and the muscles... and she's proud of me. She's become endeared to me too and having her around makes me dream of having a daughter someday, but at that moment when she revealed my name and remarked how big I was in front of her gay ballet teacher made me feel uncomfortable. The gay guy was smirking and sizing me up with his gaze.
Can I say
bloody hell now?
I just grabbed Agatha and carried her to the car and drove home. She's so innocent about those things so she asked "Why are you angry?"
I just said "I don't like your teacher, that's all."
That happened last monday, damn it. So every ballet class that I had to take her to, I'd just drop her off, then I'd drive around and wait by a little cafe a couple of blocks from the ballet school.
I'm not really that homophobic; I just don't like it when homosexuals like me like me, if you know what I mean.
Today's another day.
Friday, July 14, 2006 7:33 AM
I feel so bangag today. I know I lack sleep, must be jetlag. But damn, this jetlag's been around for so long, I'm surprised hindi pa nawawala.
I heard from Paul that it's been raining too much back home. Hah. Floods and landslides, here we come. I'm not rejoicing, I'm being sarcastic, in case you're wondering.
I'm up quite early again today, around 4am. I ate some noodles, tried out some of the tea my uncle has stashed in the storage room, picked out some brownies from the fridge, only to find out that those brownies were already spoiled! There's mold on them. Blue-green ones. And I only saw those molds when I was already on my second brownie.
I'm currently anticipating the next chapter of my life from eating those spoiled brownies: pagtatae.
Fuck.
This isn't actually the first time it happened. I don't know if brownies hate me or not, but they love to catch me off-guard and make me eat them.
And I wonder why my stomach isn't rumbling yet.
I bought myself a new Ipod yesterday... capable of having videos. Muahah. I already shipped my old Ipod back to Manila so that my cousin Christine can finally have it.
I have to get to writing!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006 7:23 AM
From Rina's blog
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too.
How are you feeling today?
James Blunt-Beautiful
Will you get far in life?
Spongecola-Jillian
How do your friends see you?
Silverchair-Israel's Son
Will you get married?
Side A-Will I Ever?
What is your best friend's theme song?
Franz Ferdinand-Michael
What is the story of your life?
Nirvana-Rape Me
What was high school like?
Rampqueen-Promenade
How can you get ahead in life?
Franz Ferdinand-Smile LIke You Mean It
What is the best thing about your friends?
Vertical Horizon-Best I Ever Had
What is today going to be like?
Fiona Apple-Never is a promise
What is in store for this weekend?
Jewel-Intuition
What song describes you?
Incubus-Southern Girl
To describe your grandparents?
Tool-Stinkfist
How is your life going?
A Perfect Cirle-Magdalena
What song will they play at your funeral?
Keane-Somewhere only we Know
How does the world see you?
Elton John-Candle in the wind
Will you have a happy life?
The Killers-Somebody told me
What do your friends really think of you?
INcubus-a certain shade of green
Do people secretly lust after you?
Yes-Owner of a lonely heart
How can I make myself happy?
Franz Ferdinand-Do you want To?
What should you do with your life?
Rampqueen-swallow drive
Will you ever have children?
Martika-Like Toy Soldiers
so incoherent, some are coherent though. ain't it funny?
Got some writing to do.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006 10:41 AM
A happy ending, you might say
Will never cease to your dismay
As everything will die today
From what you know to what you see.
And you will never ever find
And realize what's on your mind
When all you do is pay the price
For everyone to believe the lie
And everybody who knew the truth
Will tug deeply through the roots
Of your existence.
Pay a sixpence
To the ferryman
To take you to the other side,
In hell where you truly belong
Where you can sing your little song
About me.
Having an online conference with Paul and discussing stuff with a client through webcam can be difficult. I still prefer talking to clients face-to-face, however, that client is in Singapore while Paul is in the Philippines. The conversation is still on-going right now but the client and Paul are busily talking about changes and revisions on the writeup and the presscon that they have been planning for a month now. The location is the problem, actually, because the client keeps on traveling from Singapore to Thailand and back again, you get the picture. It's very hard to keep track of that client's travels because he's too lazy to leave notes or messages where to contact him and he keeps on changing his mobile numbers and other contact details.
Now I wonder about the credibility of his business.
Mamaya mafia pala yun.
Anyway, while they're busily going on in their conversation, I might as well surf and blog for a while until Paul calls my attention. After all, I can hear them anyway with these neat headphones I borrowed from Timothy for this online conference.
My uncle will have this party tonight in celebration of... I'm not really sure, but he likes to throw parties. His parties, however, are like wine and cheese parties you see on TV where old and middle-aged people are dressed in formal clothes, socialize, drink and eat while the music is playing. Classical music or really old music. Uncle has an old record player, he's got old records back from the time/era na hindi pa uso ang compact discs or the so-called CDs. Hmm. Now that's something we can get along with and not talk about business: music. At least. Kahit may kalumaan ang taste niya at sinusumpa-sumpa siya ng mga anak niya kasi baduy daw ang taste niya sa musika.
And I'd better think of something to wear because of all the clothing articles I forgot to bring along with me, it's the suit or even a tuxedo for parties. I FORGOT how such a bunch of party-loving socialites this side of the family is.
Monday, July 10, 2006 7:07 AM
Finally. New layout.
It's early in the morning and I'm already awake. There has been some changes in my schedule, my auntie told me to just stay home and type away the writeups and email them to Paul after I've finished. Finally, Paul decided to help. He must have nothing else to do. Now I have to just sit back and relax and write and write and write. No. Type and type and type.
Hello soggy butt.
...I'm sure you all know the feeling of having to sit in front of your computers all day just typing something important work or school-related and by the end of the day or when you decide to stand up, your ass feels so numb and soggy you think it'll really sag when you start walking and people will stare at your damn ass.
Until last night while having dinner, my cousins Timothy and Priscilla were still laughing about the incident.
Uncle wondered what was funny and he asked. Priscilla really has to nerve to be such a blabbermouth and blab everything that Timothy had seen. Of course it brought shame to me, but I kept my poise until Uncle smiled and asked me "Really now, Tristan? I think you should lock your door."
I just smirked. ""My balls were itching and Timothy doesn't know how to knock. So there." I explained.
It takes a lot to get used to having sarcastic humor because I usually lose my temper easily.
The nanny still hates me; can't do anything about it.
I'd better go and eat now.
Hello work.
Sunday, July 09, 2006 2:40 PM
Putangena!!!
Now even the nanny knows. Crazy cousins couldn't keep their mouths shut. My youngest cousin here is a girl, her name is Agatha. She's only 7, and when her older brother Timothy screamed out moments ago "Hey, Tristan's masturbating!!!" her first impulse was to ask "what's masturbating?"
The older sister, Priscilla, who is my age, just laughed.
I can still hear them laughing.
No use explaining, they wouldn't believe me.
Not that I deny doing the deed, but why catch me at a time that I wasn't really doing it, if you know what I mean. But at least I wasn't really doing it at the time Timothy just barged in (the darn Timothy doesn't know how to knock dammit).
The nanny was looking at me rather strangely and she asked me "where did you grow up?" and I grudgingly answered "In Cologne."
Germany.
I forgot she has something against Germans because Priscilla told me that that nanny was supposed to marry a German guy but he dumped her for a prostitute. Hah. Drama. Now the poor woman thinks all Germans are sex-crazed...
And she believed my cousin Timothy upon saying that he caught me masturbating.
!@#%#@@@!!@$#%$#!!
lalala. pretend nothing's happening, tristan.
Tang inang blogger ang bagal bagal magload naka-dsl na nga punyeta.
I had this weird itch on my crotch this morning that I ended up scratching them when I couldn't take it anymore... and then my cousin opened the door and saw me. He thought I was masturbating goddammit. And he laughed and ran off, announcing it to his older brother and to his younger sister.
Shame.
